Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Diso...blah blah blah

If you know me, you probably know my past. When I first started in Kindergarten, I was always being my own person. I explored, goofed off, and yea I got in trouble sometimes. Well I think my life is filled with overreactions by certain influential people that caused me to have major hurtles to jump over during those years to come. Because of my 'bad behavior' in Kindergarten, I was sent home with daily status sticky notes. There were three outcomes to my day; one being a happy face, which my teacher awarded me with at the end of the day if I was a 'good boy', if I gave it to my mom it meant I could go outside and play after I got home from school. The next was a line face, or what one might call an okay day, "it was a challenge, but we got through it without causing much trouble", this meant that when I got home, I would have a discussion with my mother and grounded to the house for the day with hopes of a better day. The third, as you may have guessed, was a frown face, it meant, "this kid did some screwed up stuff today" now, by screwed up, it was basically, I decided to act out as an individual at the age of five, what kid doesn't? anyway, if I brought that home, it meant I was grounded to my room.

Well my teachers thought I was an idiot from the start; well they were the idiots. Me, in my young infinite wisdom noticed that my teacher didn't date these smiley face notes. So I started collecting the smiley face notes and giving them to my mother when I wanted to play outside. I had a good system going, I would use smiley faces for the most part and mixed in the line faces every once in a while and once in a great while when it was raining outside, I might pull out a sad face so that nobody became suspicious. Now, with creativity like this, I don't know how one could call me a special education candidate because of a 'learning disability'.

Now, I have had to deal the term ADD/ADHD since I was diagnosed with this condition in first grade. Its annoying to think that because a child is hyperactive, they must be medicated because something is wrong with them. When I was young, I remember not paying attention in class because the teachers weren't teaching things I was interested in. I wasn't an idiot. Yet they brought a slew of psychologists in to analyze me and I was told that I am not imaginative and that I had cognitive problems even though they didn't know me. The labeled me as an idiot and then in 5th grade they tested me and found that I was reading at a collegiate level and could spell better than anyone in my school, yet, I was still labeled as a 'learning disabled' person. I spent many nights thinking about how much it sucked to be away from my friends for half the day while I sat around in a room for special ed listening to people struggle with things that I had no problem with. I watched, as heads of my school dismissed me as a nobody, who had nothing to give to society but a vocational skill such as building houses or fixing cars. Someone destined to be a failure at life.

It was in 7th grade that I realized my full potential, and from that point on I decided to fight the system. I took their tests, I participated in their psychological analysis and eventually fought my way out of the system. I decided from that point on I wouldn't let my past bother me.

Its kind of hard to let my past go when it seems like every other week its brought up. It might be the slightest thing as someone trailing off in a conversation and jokingly saying "oh my ADD is kicking in" or something as big as applying for a job where they require a medical waiver for my past "learning disability".

I write this now because the past two days I have had to relive my past, reading through standardized test scores and listening to my new private practice doctor tell me that from what she read I have a cognitive learning problem....HAVE....I was furious at her use of the present tense when reading my past psychological reviews. I was also told that I should look into seeing a psychologist again to make sure that my 'condition' won't affect me in the future. Now, for the past 10 years, I have overcome this adversity and succeeded in achieving many things. I have been called an asset to many things I am involved in. I love to teach, and I feel as though I have a very deep and complex thought process that exceeds simple knowledge barriers.

Since I got out of the program, I have been beaten down and doubted by many people, but I like to use that negativity as a way to empower myself to prove the past wrong. I can't right the wrongs that were done to me, and neither can the teachers, doctors, psychologists and school staff, but I can at least motivate myself to prove them wrong. I like to think that nothing is impossible if you put your mind to it and don't listen to the naysayers.

I like to think I wrote this not only to vent my frustrations as of late, but to help my friends and random people who read this realize that you will always face challenges in life, and it might be reoccurring. It can only defeat you if you let it defeat you. As human beings, we accomplish many things in the face of adversity. Face your fears, and face your accusers, prove them wrong and know that you are not alone.